Friday, October 24, 2014

The Real Victims

I don't want to go into a huge ridiculous apology for not blogging for a while on what is not a particularly popular blog to begin with (there was an Onion article lampooning this that comes to mind) but I thought I'd mention why I haven't had the motivation to write in a while:  Long story short, I was stopped at a stop light, a person behind me was stopped at a stop light, and the person behind us did not stop at a stop light.  I suffered a neck injury that put my in physical therapy and--although it's not too serious--it's painful, I'm getting headaches from it, and I only feel like writing in small spurts.  In related news, my Twitter is quite lively.

I wanted to write about this, though, because it's bugging me.

There is a woman who lives near here who was interviewed on a Fox News affiliate proclaiming that she should have been informed by her children's school district that they were accommodating a trans girl student's transition.  She put her real name on it, which was pretty easily traceable to a lot of other information, including many easy ways to contact her.  And I'm assuming people did because the essay in question no longer has her name or in fact any of her statements on it, along with a mention that she requested her name be taken off due to what she described as "hate mail."

I got to thinking, though.  This is a person who was initially perfectly OK with her full name being attached to the bigoted opinion that she should have been informed that a transgender child was being appropriately accommodated in her children's general vicinity.  Because a trans girl is allowed to put a band uniform on over street clothes along with other girls.  Because a girl is being treated like a girl, she wants to be notified.  This mother went on record stating in a nutshell that she wishes the school district had violated a teenage girl's privacy.  This grown-ass adult who was perfectly fine with publicly misgendering and demeaning a trans girl in a public media setting now wants anonymity.

And I'm curious what must be going through her head, now.  Is she recognizing the irony of her request?  Is she able to make that connection, to understand that her treatment of this teenage girl--her attempt at public humiliation--was staggeringly immoral and mean-spirited?

Or--and I feel this is more likely, unfortunately--is she using this as an excuse to think of her privileged white Christian existence as persecuted and oppressed?  Will she shove this into the pile of alleged reasons homophobic and transphobic Christians are the real victims?

And more importantly, are other people--the ones reading the ghost of her prior involvement on this news story--going to have the cultural competency to understand that frustrated people acting out against a public bigot--even if they are assholes in the process--are not oppressors?

I remember her name.  I won't make it public, because unlike her I actually believe people should have some say over whether or not people know their business.

I don't really have some sort of inspirational theme to this essay or major statement to make.  The reality is that I'm just frustrated and sad thinking about how many people will put the feelings of a grown bigoted cis woman ahead of the safety of a teenage trans girl just being a teenage girl, and holding the knowledge that said woman probably didn't learn a damn thing from the experience.