Monday, June 23, 2014

Transgender Blog Challenge Day 3: Being Outed

Today's Transgender Blog Challenge question is:
Have you ever been outed?

I have outed myself on many occasions, but I'll limit this to times people have outed me to others without my consent or people have found out without me really wanting them to.

My father seems to love outing me and then afterwards telling me while saying "I hope that's OK."  It's irritating because he does it at such inappropriate times and just assumes I'm OK with it.  When my uncle died he went and outed me to everyone at the funeral.  Nobody really cared (my family has been mostly supportive, at least as far as I know, aside from some snide comments and never to me), but I'd have liked him to say something first.

The most scary was when he outed me to a friend of his after we got back from fishing for catfish one day.  This guy had a huge knife, we were in the middle of fucking nowhere, and Dad decided to tell him at that moment because he could tell the guy realized my voice was slightly different.  He brushed it off because "he's been my friend forever and I knew he wouldn't do anything," but it was still horrifying.  I actually avoid going places with my dad a little more because of this.

One of the most awkward times, though, was when I was in a job interview.  The job had a huge background check that basically was personally done by the sheriff, and the interviewer had already offered me the job but wanted to see if there was anything to worry about with it.  He went to my state's public court records search where... tada... there was my name change.  He looked at me and said "You... used to be female?"  I said "yes."  There was a long pause and they handed me out the forms to fill out.

I went home and as soon as I saw this thing I knew I couldn't fill it out.  It asked things like if I'd ever been a member of a communist group--I have--and required documentation I really can't provide.  I emailed them to say I couldn't fill this form out, and he called me thinking that I was just embarrassed about being outed.  I was trying to explain to him that it really wasn't that, not directly anyway, but I don't think he actually believed me.